Coach North, relationship coach to women desiring marriage to the right guy, is back with these 10 signs for observing whether or not a guy is “into you.” Not everyone rates high on the scale of social intelligence. For some, like me, it requires some education. Coach Amy hits it out of the ballpark with her 10 signs, so read carefully if you believe you need help judging the men you meet, or if you are in a relationship that needs some honest evaluation.
My husband rates high in social intelligence in terms of reading other people. He has taught me much in this area, so I particularly took note of each sign and, of course, have lots of mature opinions, so many in fact that this will be a two-parter.
She begins with, “Men aren’t great at communicating their feelings. It’s just reality.”
“For the most part, a guy isn’t going to send you flashing neon signs that he’s into you like two dozen red roses, professing his love outside your bedroom window, or picking you up in a horse-drawn carriage.”
“But just about all men put out very common, subtle signs that they’re into you. You just need to know what to look for…“
So let’s have a look-see at each of her signs.
#1 – “He Makes Eye Contact With You”
This seems like it would be obvious to anyone: “How a man looks at you can reveal what he’s thinking and feeling on the inside. Because as they say, the eyes are the window to the soul.”
“So, even if he never approaches you or is too shy or insecure to make a move, he could still be interested in you. And his eyes will give you your answer.“
“If you want to know if a guy likes you, then look in his eyes,” opines Coach.
To me, her second point about the more shy or insecure guy is the most helpful. Not all guys are full of confidence, especially if you exude confidence and/or he finds you especially attractive. Until he believes you are approachable, this guy will just hang back. It’s human nature.
So, if you are also interested, be sure to look into his eyes to kill two birds with one stone. First, you’ll see if he has that interested look in his eyes, and secondly, you’ll give him the vibe he needs telling him you are approachable.
On the flip side, if you’re not interested, avoid eye contact by all means. You’ll save yourself potential embarrassment and even harassment with unwanted attention.
[Editor’s note: Focus is key – if he is the least bit distracted by his phone, he has divided attention and that is not a good sign. Guys in general have a more difficult time holding a gaze; they will tend to look away, perhaps to collect their thoughts. Watch two guys talk to each other, even if they are best of friends, and they will quite often look away. But when they are focused on a girl that they like, they have the ability to pay no attention to the outside world.]
#2 – “He Shows His Teeth When He Smiles”
“Ok, this one may sound a little odd but believe it or not most guys stop grinning with an open mouth before they become teenagers.
“A big toothy grin, then, becomes a tell-tale sign that a guy could be interested.”
Hmmm… as a former teacher of teenagers, I can’t say I’ve ever noticed that guys don’t tend to have toothy grins. Thinking…remembering…nope, never noticed so I’ll have to take Coach North’s word for it–at least in North America. Have I said she’s Canadian? Hence the punctuation within her sage quotes.
Speaking of various parts of the English-speaking world, would guys in the UK fit this pattern as I hear that dental care is not what it is in North America? Don’t know.
Let’s trust Coach on this one. A man smitten should surely be a man with a wide, toothy grin whenever he sees you.
[Editor’s note: An Evening Telegraph article reports on a study done by data scientists that showed that women got 76% more likes in the Hinge dating app when smiling with their teeth while men were 43% more likely to get a like when smiling with no teeth. So if a guy really smiles, he must really like you.]
#3 – “His Pupils are Huge”
Coach Amy begins with a bit of a science lesson: “Pupil dilation is a brain response that happens when you like and are attracted to something.“
“That means if his pupils grow from small and barely noticeable to big and wide, this [is] a strong indicator to let you know if he’s into you.“
“Now, obviously if you’re in a dark room and his eyes are naturally dilating to let in more light this can be a bit misleading.“
“But trust me, you’ll notice when his pupils dilate and it has NOTHING to do with letting in more light. And EVERYTHING to do with him liking you.”
News to me, so once again, trust is in order.
[Editor’s note: This Healthline article brings up a study that showed that women who liked nice guys preferred medium-sized pupils while women who prefer badly-behaved guys preferred larger pupils.
Additionally, fear, anger and excessive drug and alcohol use can also cause the pupils to enlarge. So it may not be as cut and dry as Coach Amy makes it sound. In other words, your mileage may vary. ]
#4 – “He Smiles Above His Mouth”
“Basically, when a guy smiles with his eyes, his eyes appear to be smiling without the rest of the face joining in.“
“It’s what Tyra Banks calls ‘smizing’. And it’s a powerful sign he likes you.“
“When a guy ‘smizes’ you can bet that he’s genuinely into you. Simple as that!”
Totally makes sense! Don’t you do the same thing?! Nothing is more enticing and magnetizing than seeing the glow in the eyes of the one you love as he gazes at you.
[Editor’s note: This wikiHow article analyzes the smize. It always helps if you can smize back at him, so you should start practicing this technique. It will only help him open up and respond more warmly.
Additionally, in this COVID age with masks over the mouths, it will be crucial to be able to communicate happiness with your eyes.]
#5 – “He Licks His Lips In A Cute (Non-Creepy) Way”
“Science has proven that when you’re attracted to someone, your mouth produces extra saliva.”
“Think about it. If you’re attracted to someone, your body instinctively starts preparing your mouth to kiss.”
“So, if you notice him licking his lips or pressing them together anytime you’re around, well, he may just be into you.”
This gal is full of fascinating facts (assumed). I’ll bite (no pun intended).
[Editor’s note: An article in BestLife notes that a licking of the lips can mean an interest in you but it can also mean that something untrue was just spoken, and he is trying to get rid of it by licking it away. So you will have to exercise good judgment in determining how honest he is with you.]
Summary: I am endlessly fascinated, as I critique Coach North’s relationship advice, that she often references scientific, sociological, and/or psychological research. Those with strong social intelligence intuitively notice things the average person does not. Some are even capable of using their social knowledge to manipulate.
Now, in my opinion, there are a few reasons for a person to have high social intelligence: innate, learned due to life circumstances, and/or they are manipulative individuals. As you learn her 10 signs, keep in mind that a person can also use these signs to manipulate.
It is always wise to consider the possibility that you are attempting to discern a manipulative man. If so, steer clear. Think Ted Bundy. A word to the wise that Coach Amy doesn’t mention.
Don’t miss Part 2 where Coach Amy North gives us 5 more signs, such as “He Leans Towards You As He Talks,” and “He Finds A Reason To Touch You,” to “He Keeps The Conversation Going.” You will become more astute in your quest for true love and a lasting committed relationship.