Opposites Attract and Then They Attack

A man and woman from the 1950s embrace each other tightly

So much has been made of opposites attracting each other. The idea is that they complement each other. So when one is assertive, the other one’s shyness makes for a happy relationship because two assertive people will conflict much more so than a couple in which there is only one assertive person.

But it actually depends on the area in which the opposite exists.

If one is religious and the other is not, that is going to be a significant source of conflict. A spontaneous person paired with a planner will create friction. An adventurous partner is not going to tolerate a stay-at-home partner.

So on the one hand, variety is the spice of life. And on the other, birds of a feather flock together. Where is the happy medium between the two extremes of total opposite and totally identical?

It boils down to meeting each other’s needs. If these needs are not met, then there will be tension in the relationship. But if the needs are met, then the couple will find ways to accommodate the opposite approaches.

I wrote about these needs in this post, Meeting of the Hearts and Minds, in which I presented Willard F. Harley’s top five needs of a woman and the top five needs of a man. Since the needs are not common to the other person, it is important for both people to discuss them, since what is obvious to one person is not so obvious to the other, especially in the way that the need is met.

Like in real life, a Samsung phone with an Android operating system works very differently from the iPhone with iOS operating system. On the surface, there are similarities, but beneath the surface are a lot of differences.

To make a Samsung-iPhone relationship work, there needs to be a lot of discussion about meeting each other’s needs.

If most of these needs are not met, then the relationship becomes ripe for attacking one another, and that is the point of this post.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *